Heard this morning's talk about the American "Pejoves" Fund company.（听说了今天早上提到了美国“Pejoves”基金公司）
My response: （我的回应:)
I already expressed myself refuse to give up any share that my Trust entity has invested, and I really don't need to say anything else beyond this. (我已经表达了我本人拒绝放弃我所继承的信托对这家公司的任何投资份额。除此之外，我也确实不需要再说什么了。）
I have published a lot on this blog in hope my missing father can read me if he does a search of his own name together with my name in Chinese, I hope the same for my mother as well if she is still alive. I don't know where they are but I am confident about their well-being because I have entrusted my care for them since 2004. I hope they know my experience to better take care of themselves while I can't take care of them myself. This is also the blog of my searching diary "what did I inherit if I did inherit". I share an essay here that I wrote about how my life changed because of this search.（我在这个博客上发表了很多博文，我希望我失踪的父亲用中文将他自己的名字和我的名字一起做个搜寻就可以看到，我也是这么希望我的母亲还在也可以用这方法看到我的博文。我不知道他们在哪里，但我相信他们很好就因为我在2004年办理信托时也托付了我对他们的照顾。我希望他们能知道我的经历，能在我还不能亲自照顾他们时可以照顾好他们自己。这博客也是我的找寻日记 --“如果我真的有继承财产，我继承的究竟是什么呀“。我在这里分享我所写的一篇有关我的生活变更的散文。）
Essay of "what did I inherit if I did inherit"（散文“如果我真的有继承财产，我继承的究竟是什么”）
I quitted my computer professional job in 2007 with the anticipation of having an early retirement life when the radio program majorly featured my life experiences had already had a successful run for two years in the United States. My life change had been so unbelievable to a lot of people who had known me, but so comfortably settled-in by myself: I became the homeless in 2009.（我是在2007年广播剧已经在美国热播我的人生经历故事两年后辞去了我的电脑上班族的工作，准备享受一份可以提早退休的悠闲生活。让很多认识我的人很吃惊但我自己却怡然自得的一个生活改变是在2009年，我成了一个街上的流浪汉。）
I was advised to have some homeless experiences by a Chinese “guest” to my meeting on July 1st of 2004. I was not the person invited him. I heard recently that he shared the same last name but not having blood association with me – it has been rumored that his family has been a result of a relative's marriage issue several generations ago. Ever since that generation, I heard his family has been following around my great several grandfather's line (a junior half-brother to that relative), the saying was "they are following the money". I heard himself was mothered by a Miss Yu (于). I wish I knew who he is and why he was invited into my meeting to know this advice was possibly never good intentioned.（在2004年7月1日，我在我的电讯会议上被一个华裔“客人”建议去做个流浪汉。他不是由我邀请参加这个会议的客人。我听说他和我同姓但没有任何血缘关系 --据说他们家是我们家几代以前的一个亲戚婚姻困扰的结果。好像我们家这支那一代的曾祖父是那个亲戚的同父异母幼弟，我听说他们家被我们家的那个亲戚发现后，从那一代开始，我们家就一直被他们家跟着，据说他们家是在跟着钱走。我听说他本人的妈妈姓于，我真是希望我当时知道他是谁可能就会猜到这建议也许是一点善意都没有的。）
I came from a family with a lot of family stories of “what happened to the family wealth”, such as my grandmother married into the house full of gold-bricks, my great-grandfather could afford to buy a car in 1920’s China, but wealth went disappeared in my grandfather’s generation, etc. I was not surprised at all when I was told I inherited some handsome wealth invested abroad according to my grandfather’s will. I did not even ask which generation grandfather had blessed me. When I was all happy about my life could be easier after I take care of my anxiety health situation that I had developed around 2004, this "be homeless" was the advice that I was not afraid of adventuring. （我们家里一直有很多“家里以前的钱究竟怎么回事”的故事，比如我奶奶进门的时候家里到处都是一堆堆的金砖，我曾祖父在20年代的中国是可以买得起小轿车的，但是到了我爷爷那一代，家里的钱就不见了，等等。所以当我被告知按照我爷爷的遗嘱，我继承了我爷爷投资海外的财产时，我是一点都没奇怪。我甚至都没问究竟是那一代的爷爷对我这么好。当我很开心我可以在照顾好我自己当时因为生活各方面压力过大而产生的恐惧症状后就可以过个快乐人生，所以我对这个探险建议是一点都没担心过。）
In January of 2015, I had this nightmare experience of realizing that my financial situation wouldn’t change even I already fed up with my homeless game. I was yelled at why I would fancy I could stuck-on some rich men I met a long time ago, I was told I never had any professional achievements no matter how popular smartphones have been, and I was told my father "died" when I was unreachable, and my own last will was already prepared so I could just die alone in poverty in my current residence.（2015年1月，我就像噩梦惊醒一般意识到就算我已经玩腻了流浪者游戏，我的经济状况好像是不会改变的。我被人当街吼着我怎么会认为可以缠着一个多年以前就只见过一面的有钱男人, 我到哪儿面对的都是众人“就算智能手机普及，可你就是从来就没有过任何职业上的成就”这么一种态度，我被告知当我无法联络时，我的父亲“也已经去世了”，甚至说是遗嘱都已经替我准备好了让我可以安心在我现在住的这个一室套房里穷困潦倒等死就得，等等。）
I have been expecting my own birth Chinese grandfather’s blessing to provide for me financially, never any rich man’s never-romance money, but where is the money? The few references I remembered have been controversial. The American companies I thought I inherited have been registered to British companies in the entire companies’ history, the grandfather who blessed me was not my same last name, etc. The journey started off to find where is my money became the journey of finding my family ancestry, what happened to my computer professional achievements, and most importantly, a historical review of what I have inherited, etc., as you heard on the radio.（我其实一直是在等我自己亲生爷爷给我的钱来提供我的生活费用，从来不是什么有钱人的“从没发生过的裤裆钱”，但究竟钱在哪里? 我所记得的仅有的一些线索有很奇怪。我以为是我继承的美国公司其实都是法律上注册为英国公司的子公司的，听说这些公司的投资人不是姓方的，等等。就这样，我这一路“钱在哪里”的过程同时就又成了我的家世历史的探寻之旅，“我的电脑专业的成就怎么没了”的问询之路，以及最重要的，这是”我究竟继承了什么的”漫长历史回顾，就如你在广播剧里所听到的。)
The change started when I face the reality-real question if I have ever inherited. I started my confronting efforts in January of 2015 by walking into a police station in Boston of Massachusetts and asked where I should find any help if I am certain I have "inherited something" experience but I don’t know where to send out inquiries. Ever since then, I started my journey of finding out what my inheriting experience means.（改变是从我买你对这个现实又实际的问题，就是如果我真的有继承财产，那我究竟继承了成了什么？我选择了面对，我是在2015年1月走进了波士顿的一家警察局，探寻如果我确实有继承财产的经历又不知该如何查询的情况下，我应该如何寻求帮助？从那时到现在，我就是这么一路颠簸走来。）
Currently, what I found out have been: I came from a long history Chinese Tang dynasty Emperors’ line as their birthmark heir girl. This was probably related to the reason I was not surprised at all why I am the person inherited: I knew I have been The Very Important Girl to my family ever since I was little; My family's last name has changed because of some dangerous situation happened; The references are controversial because what I inherited are the Trust entities which have been the investor entities to some American Fund companies. And most luckily, I have entrusted my caring to my parents in 2004 as well, it includes the “emergency safety caring” that made me hold my hope that my parents may have been “rescued”.（如今我所找的的一些信息是：我是中国唐朝皇帝的女性掌纹继承人。这可能和我继承当时一点没奇怪为什么是我继承有点关系：我从小就知道我是我们家里非常重要的一个女孩。我们家改姓是因为家里遇到过一些危险；继承的参考信息很奇怪是因为我所继承的其实是信托，是我所继承的信托一直有投资一些美国的公司。最幸运的是，我托付了我对我父母的照顾包括紧急照顾，让我一直期望我的父母双亲被“援救了”。）
I am still searing for the answer “where is my money”, but my searching narrowed to where is the paid-out living expenses from the Trust entities I inherited. The searching journey if I inherited has been 3 and ½ years already, I still need to emphasize the inheriting means I got the money from an already deceased person, never a living person. I am surprised how this confusion "if I expect any money from a couple of negative never-romances" can deny my professional female-being together with the never-romances. (我还在找寻“我的钱在哪里”，但我现在找的是我所继承的信托已经支付的生活费用在哪里。这份寻寻找找已经有3年半的时间了，我还的时不时地强调继承是指收到了去世的人留下的钱，从来不是什么活人给的钱。让我惊讶的是这份“我是否在等有钱男人不想给的裤裆钱“困扰居然可以在彻底否定恋爱经历的同时，居然就此彻底否定了我作为职业女性的职业成就。)
----July 15th, 2018