08-11-2018 I refuse to provide for whoever's ex-marriage partner（我拒绝向别人的前妻前夫支付离婚生活费）

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08-11-2018 I refuse to provide for whoever's ex-marriage partner（我拒绝向别人的前妻前夫支付离婚生活费）



Heard this morning's talk sparked confusion about my advice on July 1st of 2004.（听说今天早上的播出内容触发了对我2004年7月1日所建议内容的一些困扰。）
My response:（我的回应：）

On July 1st of 2004, I was making the financial arrangement about my possible biological children from pregnant mothers. I was asked by someone who was having a headache if considering some more children from his current marriage a good idea when he already has some adult children. I was asked what my advice would be as a female polygamist having a male's privilege.
（2004年7月1日那天，我是安排我自己可能会由代理孕母生出的亲生小孩的财务相关事宜。有人说他现在为了是不是在有了成年子女后应该再有几个小孩很头疼。这人就问我这样一个一妻多夫者是如何看待这个问题的，会如何建议？）

I spoke out of my understanding from a polygamist marriage as a traditional polygamist: "A marriage partner is for life and there should be no legal reason for a divorce". I also understand that biological children from any non-polygamist marriage are all life-long relationships as well, but the marriage partner is purely from the willingness. *An unfaithful marriage female partner in a traditional multi-wives‘ polygamist marriage would face a denounce never a divorce.
(我作为传统观念的一妻多夫者，我对传统一夫多妻婚姻的理解是：“婚姻是终身的，没有什么离婚的”。我也理解对一个一夫一妻的婚姻来说，婚姻所出的亲生孩子们统统是终身的血脉相连，而婚姻伴侣则是谁则是完全个人的自由意愿。*传统的一夫多妻婚姻中出轨的女方只会面对废除从来不是什么离婚。）

Based on my own understanding of the non-polygamist marriage, I said if the future family inheriting is the only concern about more children, why not make the financial arrangement for the younger children at the time when each would be born?
(出于我自己对于一夫一妻婚姻的理解，我对那人说如果担心家里如何分家产是造成头疼是否该多要几个孩子的原因，那为什么不在每一个新的孩子将出生的时候就为这个孩子做好财务安排？）

There was someone else asked at this time that he was having the headache of a possible financial settlement for a divorce but he did not do the financial arrangement when his not-same-mother children were born, I said he could just separate children's settlement with the mother's if he would be in the situation to consider such financial arrangement, he would feel much comfortable this way to take very good care of his children who are his blood no matter what his marriage situation would be.
（那时又有一个人问他现在可能会离婚但他没给不同母亲的小孩在其出生时就做财务安排，我就说如果你真是要离婚，你就把你想给孩子们的钱和你准备给孩子母亲的钱分开安排。这样不管你婚姻选择如何，你都会很乐意好好照顾你自己的亲生小孩。）

I was not taught but this separating the mother's financial arrangement with the child(ren) has been my family's tradition. My family has been a long history polygamist family that till my grandfather's generation had first-ever one mother's children's family inheriting in 1930 or so. My great grandmother was the first ever dowager of my family who got a very good financial arrangement from my great-grandfather that was the best ever.
（没人教过我这些，但这种把妈妈和孩子们的财务安置分开处理的做法一直都是我家的传统。我家一直都是一妻多夫，直到1930年左右我爷爷那代分家产时才是第一次是由同一个母亲所出的孩子们分家产。我曾祖母是我家历史上第一个从去世丈夫那里收到很好财务安置的dowager贵妇。dowager 贵妇就是指遗孀从她去世丈夫那里收到的头衔及财务安排是可以和去世丈夫的亲生小孩所分到的家产相比的。）

In my family, the tradition has been the wives got lifetime financial arrangements from the dying husband but family inheriting belongs to his biological children only. The wives could have lifetime financial arrangements was because there was no such imagination before 1907 that a wife would be expected to re-marry. And I can totally imagine that possibly there is no divorcee would love to see the divorced partner to move on to a new romance happily by the divorce settlement.
（在我家，家里的传统一直都是做妻子的从临终丈夫那里拿到终生的财务安置，分家产就是只有临终丈夫自己亲生的孩子们才有的。在1907年以前，做妻子的可以从丈夫那里拿到终生的财务安排就是因为遗孀是没有可能再婚的。而我本人是很可以想象可能没有一个离了婚的人会愿意看着离婚的另一方收到丰厚的离婚安置费后再快乐找一个“更年轻英俊漂亮的”。

I heard there are a lot of in-marriage partners have been participating in this fight of having a better financial settlement. I don't know if those who talked them into participating in this fight are actually cursing their own marriages because a divorce settlement only exists for a divorced marriage. Their own wealthy marriage partners won't understand their participation in any other way.
（我听说有很多在富裕婚姻中很幸福的另一方也在参与这场要求要有好一点离婚财务安置的争执。我不知道劝说他们参与这场争执的那些人是不是因为出于对这些人婚姻的嫉妒，都知道啊，只有快离婚的人或者想离婚的人才会闹着要好一点的离婚财务安置啊。他们婚姻中的富裕方对他们参与这场闹着要好一点的离婚财务安置很难会有其他不同的看法。）

I myself is wondering who need to fight this "better divorce settlement" against me or my money? I have been living alone all this time to eligible nobody. Is this fight actually to ask me to pay for whoever's ex-marriage partners? Is it the similar scheme as the intellectual income should be re-assigned to some sexual partners?
（我本人也在奇怪谁够资格和我闹着要好一点的离婚财务安置啊？我一直都是一个人住着的，就没人够资格和我“闹离婚”。这场争执是不是又是在闹着让我替别人支付离婚钱？类似智慧产权应该属于性交关系的伎俩？）

I refuse to provide for whoever's ex-marriage partner.
我拒绝向别人的前妻前夫支付离婚生活费。


----August 11th, 2018